TAKE A LOOK AT THIS GREAT DEAL ON CELLULITE CREAM IN A WEIGHT LOSS SECRET CHAMBER. LATE BREAKING NEWS! REPOSSESSED CARS AND GOVERNMENT FORECLOSURES ON A MORTGAGE LOAN RETAIL RAMPAGE -- DISCOUNT VIAGRA, NO PRESCRIPTION NEEDED, OVER-THE-COUNTER OVERLOAD. SEE YOUR FAVORITE CELEBRITIES SUCKING SPYWARE SPAM-BUSTERS -- CLEAR AWAY YOUR DEBT FOREVER! GUARANTEED!

AS SEEN ON TV, ALL YOUR ANCESTORS -- YOUR VERY OWN PERSONALIZED FAMILY TREE, THIS FREE GENEALOGY CHART WILL TOP THE MOST SUCCESSFUL REMEDY FOR RUSSIAN BRIDES AND MAIL-ORDER ILLEGAL FIREWORK ROPE BONDAGE, FORBIDDEN DANCE INSTRUCTION WITH MILFS! FIFTEEN FIERCE FAT ANGRY INCHES OF INSANE PRICE BREAKS AND SUPER SAVINGS ALL FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF ONE APOCALYPTIC BOOTY-SHAKE CONTEST. X-RAY BINOCULARS, SPY CAMS, A NEW RECIPE FOR SUCCESS, SELF-ESTEEM, AND FREE SOLAR PANELS -- YOUR NEIGHBORS WILL BE SO JEALOUS.

NEVER BE LONELY AGAIN WITH A NEW DATING SERVICE FOR ARMY BONDS -- NEVER BEFORE SEEN BIGGER NUTS AND HEAVIER BALLS SENT SPECIAL-ORDER OVERNIGHT MAIL GUARANTEED TO INCREASE BOTH SIZE AND STAMINA OR YOUR MONEY BACK. FREE PORN! JUST $19.95 FOR UNLIMITED ACCESS TO YOUR NEIGHBOR’S WIFE CAUGHT LIVE ON WEBCAM WITH -- NEW LAUNDRY DETERGENT. FREE DIGITAL DESCRAMBLER, NO MONEY DOWN FOR THE FASTEST DSL LINE IN TOWN.

THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN OUR SURVEY -- ENTER THE LAST FOUR DIGITS OF YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY AND GET MILLIONS OF FREE DOWNLOADS OF YOUR BIG MONEY PRIZE WINNING POEM THAT WE’D LIKE TO INCLUDE IN OUR ANTHOLOGY OF DO-IT-YOURSELF INQUIRIES INTO MILLIONS OF HUNGRY ANGRY LONELY TIRED MARRIED SINGLE BIG BEAUTIFUL FAT SKINNY SLUT VIRGIN PREGNANT GAY CHEERLEADERS ARE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL. FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY LIVE SHEEP CAN REFER YOUR FRIENDS AND GET 5 MORE CD’S ABSOLUTELY FREE WITH YOUR PAID SUBSCRIPTION! THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THIS FREE CREDIT REPORT FINDING OUT ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE WITHIN MINUTES OF THE DIY CONSPIRACY THEORIES OF VIRAL INFECTIONS WHICH YOU CAN CLICK HERE TO PLACE YOUR FREE PERSONAL AD FOR UNLIMITED ACCESS TO HOT SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN WEIGHT LOSS AND NO WRINKLES IF YOU FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO 24 OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES WITHIN 24 HOURS A HOROSCOPE WITH FREE INSTALLATION AND A VALUE OF WHAT CELEBRITY WOULD YOUR BABY BE THE SMARTEST BEST MOST GLORIOUS ON HIGH BRIGHTER LED BULBS FOR LIFE! DON’T DELETE. BE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE. DON’T MISS OUT. DON’T THINK. DON’T STOP CLICKING. FASTER. FASTER. HARDER. GIVE IT TO ME. DON’T STOP. DON’T MISS OUT.